tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13983756558550333652024-03-05T21:07:06.071-07:00Dream a Dream...Me, my life and whatever else is going on...Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-37353021373787250432011-04-04T20:54:00.001-06:002011-04-04T20:54:56.111-06:00The sun, is not free...We went to the mall tonight and got dinner and on the way out we stopped at this kiosk that sells stuff that changes color in the sun. Cool! I thought so... but there's no price listings on anything... and I figured it couldn't cost that much...58 dollars later... I got one nail polish, 12.99, one keychain, 6.99, one necklace 18.99, it was 24.99 the merchant said, so he gave me a discount (ooh, a whole 6 bucks... 50 percent off my total purchase would have been better!!) and one set of hair accessories 15.99... on the bag you get, you can go to DELSOL.COM, So I did. I took a minute to look around the site, and decided that I have been ripped off. I know you can open your own store, it says so on the site, and the merchant at the mall has to make a living, but, at least online you get free shipping on orders over 50 bucks... <br />
The moral of the story, buy online. It's cheaper.Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-52044094441479893002011-03-30T19:15:00.000-06:002011-03-30T19:15:29.285-06:00Stuff I like (I'll add to this as time goes on)Coffee<br />
Frogs (mostly tree frogs)<br />
pink and green<br />
Dick Tracy (yes, I still like Dick Tracy, and all those old fashion cars in the movie too)<br />
Camoflage<br />
anything by Steinlen<br />
Foo Dogs<br />
Parisian Romance<br />
Zen JapaneseNatakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-4129287021491008342011-03-06T13:37:00.000-07:002011-03-06T13:37:04.807-07:00SAD anyone?Well today I am tired and I want to sleep all day and stay in bed, but I have a family to take care of... I should have cleaned the house by now, but I really dont feel like doing that. I think I probably have SAD, which I have noticed that I feel like this when its cloudy out (like it is right now.) And (I know, you shouldn't start a sentice with "and", but I don't care, it's my blog, I can do what I want..) I am certain that it's my weight gain causing my husbands lack of desire for me. So maybe when my diet and exercise program get here, that will all change..Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-62627493474227500112011-02-27T22:16:00.000-07:002011-02-27T22:16:51.263-07:00Nobody wants me...So I am trying to determine why it is that my husband doesn't want to have sex with me? This is husband number two, same problem, so yes, I am a little "mental" about the whole thing. If you marry one guy and he doesn't want sex with you, you think, he's an asshole, but you marry another guy years later and you have the same problem; well, then you think, he's an asshole too, but it has to be me! I'm the problem!! I am too fat, and neither one would tell me that's the problem! Instead, they think lying to you about it spares your feelings. Really?! O_o You can't tell me that you wouldn't rather screw that Asian chick on your computer with the perfect body, than to have sex with your fat wife. So instead of telling me the truth, he looks at porno and gets drunk, and jerks off all day. So I really do think, it's me, not him, that's the problem. Don't ever tell me why you wonder why I take antidepressants and am currently on a waiting list for therapy.... You know, he tells me that he doesn't know why he doesn't want me, or that it's because I "nag" him about it... I'm sorry!!! BUT we haven't had sex for TWO weeks and I am just supposed to NOT CARE!!! I don't think so!! I have noticed that when I was skinnier, we had sex more, and now that I have had baby number two, yeah, not so much sex anymore... and it's not because of the baby... Sometimes I think killing myself would make him realize that I am serious about resolving this issue that we have in our marriage, but honestly, some parts of me thinks he really wouldn't care... and also, I really don't want to die, I would like to see my kids grow up amongst other things I have to live for... Some people might ask, why don't I get a divorce? Well, been there, done that. I CANNOT go through that again, it really would kill me. Besides, I really do love my husband, and aside from the drinking, porno and smoking (which in that order bother me from greatest to least) he is a good, sane man. I want to grow old with him and have a happy marriage, but frankly, he just doesn't understand that sex is important to me. It's one of the few times that I get to be alone with him all to myself, with him all over me, and him paying attention to me. It's more than just a physical need. I wish he understood, and I wished he cared and I wish that he would show me that he does... not just say what I want to hear. So I ordered an exercise program, and if after getting skinny, he still doesn't want me, then we need to see a sex therapist... but in the meantime, he should try to fix this issue and figure out why he doesn't want to have sex with me, and then he can tell me the truth, because lying to me hurts enough. I have tried to be okay with him and his porno, but his porn gets more attention in one day than I get from him in a year... and I am just so furious with him and upset and I don't know what else to do....Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-27832723076209296342010-11-09T04:02:00.000-07:002010-11-09T04:02:50.559-07:00It's going to be a long daySo other than I wish I could skip today all together...I'm depressed and I wish my husband would give me some clue that says he cares...I really couldn't tell you when this all started but i definitely noticed it after I had my daughter. There are times I just get so mad at my husband that I seriously consider slitting my own wrists, not to kill myself, but more like a desperate attempt to get my husbands attention and take me seriously.(but then I might actually die and that's just too scary for me, so I will never have the conviction to go thru with it.which is fine with me, but geez you know, sometime you just get so upset about everything.) I know he has his own issues too, but he never talks to me about any of it. All he ever wants to do is sit on his computer and ignore the world. I really wish he didn't have a computer on most days. Would it kill you to sit with your family and get off the computer and pay attention to us?!! And it doesn't matter what he says, I never truly believe him, when it comes to how I look and if he really does "want me" instead of all the skinny asian chicks on the internet and all the other beautiful women with the perfect bodies. I feel like sex is a chore for him, and he never comes to me, I always have to ask him for sex and if he's not too tired and such. And I really don't know if it's his meds thats killing his libido or if its me... I feel fat and ugly, rejected and unwanted by everyone all the time now. And yes, sex is a really big deal for me. It's the only thing I can relate to how much he really means what he says about wanting me. I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal, but for me, it is and I wish it wasn't but in the meantime of not getting any, it hurts to know my husband turns to his computer before he will turn to me. He doesn't ever want to do anything anymore and I feel like all his problems are my fault... not to mention I have my own depression issues and I am trying not to take it out on him, but I probably am... I just wish he would talk to me and do something to change the way things are, since I know he's not happy, and I would do anything to change that if I could...I love him and I know he loves me and I don't want to lose him.Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-10205632724189467122009-08-13T21:41:00.002-06:002009-08-13T21:54:36.113-06:00after the weddingSo the wedding is over, it was good and i cried and i couldnt be happier but at the moment i am going to complain about some stuff that wasnt so great just to get it off my chest. first off, we ordered the invitations but forgot about the reception cards that said where the reception was and all those details...apparently our wedding planner did not remember either as she did not say anything about it when she mailed the invitaions... and we forgot to send out cards saying where we were registered as well...so we didnt get that many gifts but the few we did get we love. and then theres the fact that we spent all this money and had people rsvp for a reason and then only half of them showed up. i think we should bill those people who said they were coming and then didnt. and though the food was great i dont remember ordering roast beef. in fact, i know we didnt. so why did we get it? it showed up on our wedding day is all i know. i'll get back to you guys when i have that answer. and then we had lots of people telling us how rude our wedding planner was. really? i dont care. i could have stood for one or two certain people whom i feel had a legitemate complaint about that, i.e. my MIL, but as for everyone else- its our wedding day, we dont want to hear that!!!! let me go ruin your special day with complaints and see how you feel! other than that, it was great and i loved how beautiful it turned out because of our wedding planner. there is no way that we would have gotten any of this done without her. i dont care about how anyone else feels. and i am so grateful to my moh and my friends and family for being there. it helped a lot that i had the people i love with us on our day. i will post pictures or the links when we get them. we had them professionally done so its going to take some time. and a late HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sister heidi; it was on the 12th.Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-15312976108835626592009-05-20T20:13:00.003-06:002009-05-20T20:32:10.581-06:00Almost there<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOegxIp3FGD9eTAblk7iADQQvuDV-fuFLxosrZ14-osh9wRrBnhV7h1oTo_1vceV7fDVepyrBWJVxFw7zB1CPOsfNpwo6qWlatInZgV3rvFZPwWmP_yM8fSJWC5OSaTPhksk7DnMDboI__/s1600-h/all_star_hi_navy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 160px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOegxIp3FGD9eTAblk7iADQQvuDV-fuFLxosrZ14-osh9wRrBnhV7h1oTo_1vceV7fDVepyrBWJVxFw7zB1CPOsfNpwo6qWlatInZgV3rvFZPwWmP_yM8fSJWC5OSaTPhksk7DnMDboI__/s200/all_star_hi_navy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338095421868872178" border="0" /></a><br />So our wedding is two and half months away and i keep thinking of all the stuff thats not done and i wonder how in the world it is that we can afford to pay for it. i have to order the bridesmaids shoes. yes, blue converse, but taking the laces out and putting in white ribbon. And then theres both flower girl dresses, my garter, and our cake. What am I forgetting people? I need a vacation from work and my wedding planning. and then i still have to take care of two bridesmaids dresses, its just getting there and getting it done... and I want to get my FH a wedding present, but what? and nobody had better suggest a baby; i want one with him eventually but not that soon. and now he is reading over my shoulder. ^_^ he laughed and walked off about that last line... lol we had our invitations ordered last friday, well, we went and saw the lady on friday and she put the order in on monday but i have to call her back and get the final details of payment. we have a wedding planner and she is fabulous but i have to ask her who pays for what here. i mean, i know that <span style="font-style: italic;">we</span> pay for it all, but she has the money and i dont think it all goes to the vendors, i am hoping she has money set aside for some of the above mentioned things. and i still have yet to get any child support from my ex, he lost his job awhile back and he said that he had his income tax return garnished but i havent seen a penny. and he is supposed to come pick up my son soon for summer and we go back and pick him back up, but i usually use that money to go get him... so i am stressing over that; how to pay for a trip i have to take to pick up my son that has not happened yet... T_T not to mention trying to excercise and lose some weight for this wedding.... can't i just put the world on hold? actually i would prefer my ex just give up his parental rights as he has four kids, but i feel for my son. it would break his heart. anyways, its a wonder that people can deal with so much crap and not go crazy. i will go see the child support people next week and see about giving plasma, it pays, and we could use a little extra money.Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-29128169521032410112009-03-31T05:43:00.003-06:002009-03-31T05:45:08.008-06:00new Template done. ^_^ Let me know what you think and if you want anything changed Heather. Sorry I lost your old widgets, it wouldn't let me keep them so you can now put them back on again.Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-31868342981090928432009-02-27T06:43:00.002-07:002009-02-27T06:52:06.645-07:00day off!its my day off and i have no plans of doing anything today. i will get some things done, i am just not going to make any plans to do so. our wedding planner has us booked for an appointment on base with someone from the chapel there. i cannot wait. i hope we can get married there and that it is nice. i REALLY want to get married in a church. I do not claim a specific religion or anything, just that i do believe in God, but i have wanted to get married in a church since i first saw that movie "father of the bride" or at least as far back as i can remember... i still have to have my mother call some people and get their addresses so i can finish the guest list. and our planner wants to set up a tasting for the caterer and i have no idea what changes we want or even should make to the menu. on monday we also have to go to fort collins to get my FH's new car stereo installed. i bought it for him for valentines day. he got me earrings, its what we wanted. not typical valentines day gifts but we are happy. and i need to rush my child off to school..Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-78608561225868975212009-02-18T13:10:00.007-07:002009-02-18T13:19:32.425-07:00Cake Topper and wedding rings<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGPih7FEoVoVHnXBS1HjDqALGMMuxLZehqRDvgwHlOfdHFCDOi8d3aB7ERBOR-KMbYfmp_lm0dxut0bHOuQ1UPe2DO9hYAARgsDHxT27FodU8lUn9pxqYBADmUMCCh7pT0tc32zVNoHG3s/s1600-h/130854.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 164px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGPih7FEoVoVHnXBS1HjDqALGMMuxLZehqRDvgwHlOfdHFCDOi8d3aB7ERBOR-KMbYfmp_lm0dxut0bHOuQ1UPe2DO9hYAARgsDHxT27FodU8lUn9pxqYBADmUMCCh7pT0tc32zVNoHG3s/s200/130854.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304233027824545186" border="0" /></a><br />I know someone who has been waiting awhile to see our cake topper that we have had forever. so here it is! ^_^ its called endless kiss. we ordered it from some website that i have blogged <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZnk1uXyajinWoT8FxpvrfqP8n6TlKyS4iifOJ5vc2N8R6iu6IHy4K9FUPFOUq78uORTct3kUCUzIvgFXqbNACv4RR7To6LPvXDbRrJqyqJHbJjOw03fxWyICW8V9WqTZwKntAI4uY4mBk/s1600-h/pZALE1-5256972t400.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 122px; height: 122px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZnk1uXyajinWoT8FxpvrfqP8n6TlKyS4iifOJ5vc2N8R6iu6IHy4K9FUPFOUq78uORTct3kUCUzIvgFXqbNACv4RR7To6LPvXDbRrJqyqJHbJjOw03fxWyICW8V9WqTZwKntAI4uY4mBk/s200/pZALE1-5256972t400.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304234107397027842" border="0" /></a>on my computer somewhere. lol and here are our rings. okay, the layout is kind of funky, but whatever.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwk4Te4rj8E9MZeOucpom3wyvE0ahE9B_RUWphBKPVScLvfl3KlG-cQF3U2AgcLxuRtGM0vzzm-XKfJFEkyKfeuo5XnScgMR8QIzb-UE3ifUYcWUHyXcL0tyUCciEW4Rbuv5iXWQIjmEzT/s1600-h/pZALE1-2222814t400.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 127px; height: 127px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwk4Te4rj8E9MZeOucpom3wyvE0ahE9B_RUWphBKPVScLvfl3KlG-cQF3U2AgcLxuRtGM0vzzm-XKfJFEkyKfeuo5XnScgMR8QIzb-UE3ifUYcWUHyXcL0tyUCciEW4Rbuv5iXWQIjmEzT/s200/pZALE1-2222814t400.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304233937617294386" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiEANjqe-PQ9zC7F8whL-oAXn2x3xDoFHb1dceHY01AyRiKfr8KNxwi__LN2hLmbWxe2Z6pL871oxCpX5emic8tnX2-pVMFHdfj5Ycvg52-Spoim4Ta9vZjNXKi7H64s9v_S7yp7t2CFnS/s1600-h/pZALE1-3111074t400.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 114px; height: 114px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiEANjqe-PQ9zC7F8whL-oAXn2x3xDoFHb1dceHY01AyRiKfr8KNxwi__LN2hLmbWxe2Z6pL871oxCpX5emic8tnX2-pVMFHdfj5Ycvg52-Spoim4Ta9vZjNXKi7H64s9v_S7yp7t2CFnS/s200/pZALE1-3111074t400.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304234022271315426" border="0" /></a>Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-65450747743958919692009-02-18T12:19:00.004-07:002009-02-18T12:38:07.020-07:00I realize my blog is out of order and I am going to have several posts for today but its my day off and I really need to catch this thing up. and later i will have to ask my sister how she edited her blog on here because I will admit to not knowing how to add all that cool stuff she has. and yet, i can edit myspace just fine and do all the more complicated stuff with the sims and the sims2 .... dont ask me how that works... o_O anyways, we ordered our cake topper a long time ago, right after we got engaged and my wedding shoes came in last night and i have finally decided what i want our cake to look<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj5O4xYg72AC05SzmIXWhVKIk_FaQBDH2vnUd0Hud-1x5_JdAw9_LrXzgyF-QFfDmSrxPZdqYI_c5nwWlQJ1M1yR5H2v3O0xGDQQ90tvT9mt6964FOhPcQLIdOxrcfz7we2rhKuRAcIQgH/s1600-h/wedding-cake2_jpg.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 182px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj5O4xYg72AC05SzmIXWhVKIk_FaQBDH2vnUd0Hud-1x5_JdAw9_LrXzgyF-QFfDmSrxPZdqYI_c5nwWlQJ1M1yR5H2v3O0xGDQQ90tvT9mt6964FOhPcQLIdOxrcfz7we2rhKuRAcIQgH/s200/wedding-cake2_jpg.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304222212147954466" border="0" /></a> like. so progress is going well. and the night before last we decided what we wanted our reception decor to be as well. so i am going to post some cake pictures and hopefully i can describe it well enough that it will make sense. and my shoes i ordered are all white high top converse with the words (mrs. "my future last name" ) down the back in blue and i am going to take out the laces and put ribbon in instead. i still have not decided if i want to add lace or anything to them though. so here are some cake pictures... like the one on the left. we want a three layer cake with the fondant swags down it and flowers in the corners and at the top where our cake topper will be. but i want one with more detail and it to have that pearl dust shimmer on it. thats as far as i have gotten but <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV661TldjU3t58ewEY3azPo_SoOzXEgq4B2W06CnMaiyQjkrN6n_rgicaYWE39Qyu6G0sSwuWY5nDzULTsTaUlXflkpxf8EPthqIOHvAdY_4q_18bY4T0XO6TALSv9RIGKPlT7NZcTx3e8/s1600-h/cc91d.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV661TldjU3t58ewEY3azPo_SoOzXEgq4B2W06CnMaiyQjkrN6n_rgicaYWE39Qyu6G0sSwuWY5nDzULTsTaUlXflkpxf8EPthqIOHvAdY_4q_18bY4T0XO6TALSv9RIGKPlT7NZcTx3e8/s200/cc91d.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304223700061993602" border="0" /></a>its a major change from before. and i just love this other cake, but its way too big for us. still pretty though. ^_^ and it has that pearl dust on it.Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-59651312534839722592009-02-18T12:06:00.003-07:002009-02-18T12:17:42.856-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_PaQ99_1isj2v9wCsBBGEZ2PXepSBUAH0Wla1z3pAog2xXleJsLgx6LtcWtr1VBrL3DuYbTe31Ttv-Gp7jVFt_5-5WlSE6405Nr7wT696mbxoizMa-IDd9stNJmp99SEHdCm5r3gQrI2e/s1600-h/2780xl.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_PaQ99_1isj2v9wCsBBGEZ2PXepSBUAH0Wla1z3pAog2xXleJsLgx6LtcWtr1VBrL3DuYbTe31Ttv-Gp7jVFt_5-5WlSE6405Nr7wT696mbxoizMa-IDd9stNJmp99SEHdCm5r3gQrI2e/s200/2780xl.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304216316664241506" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgapdu0D7otaM3o57hfHkGv18GCuJcTJU3ZZivCEJDd3PBhCn8f0zab5CxRsN3uVy9HltALoQYIj745zWf_MHEpA2QgBilRSNCm6PxLfoszfLg67oQ0R2-A6gk6oWVZ38m5v_jQOHu9IkOt/s1600-h/2780lr.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgapdu0D7otaM3o57hfHkGv18GCuJcTJU3ZZivCEJDd3PBhCn8f0zab5CxRsN3uVy9HltALoQYIj745zWf_MHEpA2QgBilRSNCm6PxLfoszfLg67oQ0R2-A6gk6oWVZ38m5v_jQOHu9IkOt/s200/2780lr.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304215968245319858" border="0" /></a><br />This is the wedding invitation we are getting. Obviously, those are not our names; we haven't even ordered them yet. We went to a bridal show and got a certificate for 25 percent off and then we know this lady whom i work with that is an authorized seller of these and she is already giving us 25 percent off. so she allowed us to combine the two and we are getting half off! YEAH!! they are through carlson craft invitations. i find it funny that there are blue roses on it and we are doing blue roses too. I think we looked through hundreds of invitations and these are the ones we keep going back to. We finally wrote down the guest list and we are sending out about 65-70 invitations. I cannot believe we know that many people, most of them are family that lives out of town. So there are actually multiple people per invitation. I want my family to come, I miss them. We hired a wedding planner and she is worth every penny. She is trying to find us a church to get married in because I asked her too. So we are waiting on that. Neither of us has claimed a religion, just that we believe in God, so we are waiting to hear back from several churches as to who will marry us and on a sunday evening. and i just realized that i am getting married on a sunday and i was born on a sunday too... yeah, random thought there. deal with it. lolNatakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-37917935764855665382009-02-18T11:20:00.001-07:002009-02-18T11:20:21.531-07:00<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/"><br /><img border="0" src="http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10750;443/st/20090809/e/Our+Wedding/dt/10/k/9333/event.png" /></a>Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-7323716193827288732009-01-22T14:59:00.006-07:002009-02-27T06:53:21.792-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL26W_-fp-SZg-V4jsgVQTJftMzXcdBiDw0oL_pr2xKkPNcpIJ2X0B8sWEQR2eG6yavjt8hZG7vcymqZ9LFcgGzfzaUjM3VOdH6ffqzfV5wAaU0wtJ0Ez_nHeCwbnVcY67c642p0ja4Hir/s1600-h/P1598_m.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 158px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL26W_-fp-SZg-V4jsgVQTJftMzXcdBiDw0oL_pr2xKkPNcpIJ2X0B8sWEQR2eG6yavjt8hZG7vcymqZ9LFcgGzfzaUjM3VOdH6ffqzfV5wAaU0wtJ0Ez_nHeCwbnVcY67c642p0ja4Hir/s200/P1598_m.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304214189610474930" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbogtcDmFR6CifmCuYBEcZzHNn_rGqDW8db6lBxvxvUDII532bLkzAtRR5rzTbulgKZplwOVfEoKIPatC4vAYLW-Gblh06j4nVxkYsni2zcHdbDRIy0YZ-bBhqZ5n5aQFCIMDt04naP7Bp/s1600-h/P1286_m.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 158px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbogtcDmFR6CifmCuYBEcZzHNn_rGqDW8db6lBxvxvUDII532bLkzAtRR5rzTbulgKZplwOVfEoKIPatC4vAYLW-Gblh06j4nVxkYsni2zcHdbDRIy0YZ-bBhqZ5n5aQFCIMDt04naP7Bp/s200/P1286_m.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304213859995003074" border="0" /></a><br /><br />This is the garter that I like. My FH likes the one that is all blue, and called blue crush...so his is the one on the left and mine is the one on the right now that I have uploaded them.. I cannot decide which to get, maybe both? I know I had a link up here for my dress, but you cannot get to it now due to the fact that its saved under my favorites on that site and it wont let you view that link unless i was logged in. so in short, i removed the link and i decided not to post a picture of it because i do not want my FH to see the picture at all. so for those of you who know me, i will email the picture to you.Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-24359637384777364652008-11-22T11:57:00.003-07:002009-02-18T10:26:39.376-07:00wedding stuff<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdL67EBFtwsRcov51wB9Lf6KAEy-4LBmc_3-KfHOOfQdR-cXwLcE3-qv1hkEM9GaVxtPSbtnuTc8HVlqkA5hnQlC1R8oAASUwxVRhrokP_U-4ZRh_wrILZO2LcZkoLl8ctnADpDg9Wscs2/s1600-h/000603795.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 269px; height: 269px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdL67EBFtwsRcov51wB9Lf6KAEy-4LBmc_3-KfHOOfQdR-cXwLcE3-qv1hkEM9GaVxtPSbtnuTc8HVlqkA5hnQlC1R8oAASUwxVRhrokP_U-4ZRh_wrILZO2LcZkoLl8ctnADpDg9Wscs2/s320/000603795.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304189158009737682" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTe6hWDrO1NTyz5aeNkSuVUJO7s50T8_uM0NPv_ujNoOQN4YLow0FZG5uQb4GHSn_R0b8FoCa6MLMbCUQ6WQFg-c2pyucOW9Z0t2AtZCbX9Ft9oVkUfcG7tS6PJ56BgaRHondxKoRnJa_z/s1600-h/000603805.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 269px; height: 269px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTe6hWDrO1NTyz5aeNkSuVUJO7s50T8_uM0NPv_ujNoOQN4YLow0FZG5uQb4GHSn_R0b8FoCa6MLMbCUQ6WQFg-c2pyucOW9Z0t2AtZCbX9Ft9oVkUfcG7tS6PJ56BgaRHondxKoRnJa_z/s320/000603805.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304187309965122338" border="0" /></a><a href="http://www.thingsremembered.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/TRproduct_10001_9951_603795__3008_3344_1022___?occasionId=_1_%7E%7C%7E%7CWedding%5EWedding%20Shower%7C%7E%7C%7E%7C%7E"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></span></a><br /><br />So this is the serving set that we like that matches the flutes we like. its from <a href="http://www.thingsremembered.com/">thingsremembered.com</a> but the only problem is that its 75 dollars for the serving set and then 75 dollars for the flutes. i do not know if we should buy one of the other ones that are cheaper and might go with our wedding theme better or not. its your wedding day, do you settle on something else because of cost? okay, there. added both pictures in. there are other ones i like too and they cost less but i do not know what my FH will think... so instead of spending 125 we would spend around 80. i really do not know how much this set means to my FH and he has not seen the other sets, so i will talk to him when he gets home and see what he says. OMg my child is driving me crazy!! he stayed home sick today and came home early yesterday...Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-27232233861740706632008-10-26T11:12:00.001-06:002008-10-31T11:32:08.415-06:00I'm Engaged!!!So I am getting married again!! I am very excited. We have been dating for four months now but this coming February makes two years that we have known one another. Before dating we talked constantly, either at work, on the phone or when hanging out with our friends. I know that some people say that its a little fast moving, but he is 33 and I am 26. We both want the same things and have everything in common. We do not feel that our relationship is moving too fast and we are happy. There are no rules that say that we have to date forever before he can move in and then we have to be engaged for the next two centuries. That may have been the old fashioned ways, and while some things are timeless, this is not one of them. Times change and everything along with it, including traditions. I've been married before and yes, I will play the "young and stupid card" and I thought I knew what love was. Well one child and one divorce later and many lessons learned the hard way; and I have grown up and realized what real love is and what a relationship is supposed to be and what its not supposed to be. So I know that I really am in love this time and I am ready to be married and have a family life again. Having been through all that I have, as awful as it was, makes me appreciate everything that I do have. This man that I have now, he may not be perfect, but he is just like me and perfect for me in every way. I love him and I do not care what anyone else thinks, we are both old enough and mature enough to know that we are making the right decisions.Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-34319579548066926442008-01-22T22:20:00.001-07:002008-01-22T22:29:48.016-07:00A reason to smileI finally have something to smile about. A reason if any. I have finally figured out and admitted that i want to <span style="font-style: italic;">be</span> somebody in this life. and what i want to do is <span style="font-style: italic;">write.</span> it is something that i have always wanted to do and something that i have always done in the past. maybe this is the year that i finally get back up on that papyrus and write something. i think i can finally work thru this writers block that i feel i have been dealing with. i am not completely there yet, but i feel like i have made progress. of course i had to google it, the whole writers block and all, but i have a solution and i dont feel so trapped and run dry anymore. there are still some creativity issues going on in my head, but i feel i can work thru those in time. for now, all of that is a minor detail. i am putting my poetry writing aside and i am going to take up the challenge of writing my novels again. who knows, maybe i will get somewhere this time or at least figure out an ending to one of them. we will see where this road goes and where we get to. there have been a few more recent developements in my life, mostly just within myself and not effecting (or affecting? ) anyone else in my life. but its good. change within oneself for the better. maybe this is what they consider "going back to your roots" ? i dont know, i just hope that this all pans out in the end toward something successful.Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-61534878094365584282007-11-09T00:42:00.000-07:002007-11-09T00:50:54.923-07:00november 8-9 2007I hate today..its been one year since clair died. i miss her more than ever. and it does not help that my sister is in germany and i miss her too. i am just having a crappy day. more like a crappy night. i need to go to bed, but i am up typing because i cant get my mind to stop wandering. i emailed rasta, i need to call him... and several other people, but i am too tired to ever do it. why do people die? why do they leave when you are not ready? does God hear my thoughts about the dead? do the dead really hear the thoughts of the living? if so, then they know how much i miss them all.. i wish that they would at least come see me in my dreams and tell me its okay. i just dont want to lose anyone else. i am tired of crying. why does it have to hurt so much when someone you love dies? its just not fair. i dont know that i want to have a next life.. cant i just stay in heaven with the people i love forever? times like this i wish that God would be blunt and tell us things we want to know, but thats not how it works. we have to figure things out for ourselves or we will never really learn anything.Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-22137575088484985492007-09-25T11:34:00.000-06:002007-09-25T11:35:39.870-06:00Strangers<div class="Article"> <h2><br /></h2> <div class="ArticleBody"> <p class="poembody">Wandering alone, under the moonlit night<br />I see you coming near<br />The stars in your eyes, shining so bright<br />Maybe meeting once, but barely even friends<br />We are but two strangers<br />Never knowing where it ends.<br />Traveling distant roads<br />That cross paths, but never meet,<br />Going different places,moving to a silent beat.<br />Acknowledging eachothers existence<br />And denying our own,<br />We are but two strangers<br />Each longing to be home.<br />Losing myself inside of you<br />Thinking only of another,<br />Not knowing who you are<br />But wondering about the other.<br />Drowning in our sorrows; of self pity and woe<br />We are but two strangers,<br />Each longing to be home.</p> <h4 align="center">kikyo<br /> </h4> </div> <div class="ArticleFooter"> <p align="center">Copyright ©2007 <b>kikyo </b> </p> </div> </div>Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-86449584009073307322007-09-25T11:30:00.000-06:002007-09-25T11:34:32.285-06:00Romeo Blue<div class="Article"> <h2><br /></h2> <div class="ArticleBody"> <p class="poembody">You are my world<br />My one desire<br />My burning love<br />My raging fire;<br />My flame eternal<br />Torch shining bright<br />My ceaseless wonder<br />My endless light;<br />My everything<br />That I'm seeing<br />In this life<br />My infamous being;<br />Knight in shining armor<br />Other half of my soul<br />Hero of my heart<br />He who makes me whole;<br />You are my<br />One and only true<br />White winged angel<br />My Romeo Blue.</p> <h4 align="center">kikyo<br /> </h4> </div> <div class="ArticleFooter"> <p align="center">Copyright ©2007 kikyo<b> </b> </p> </div> </div>Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-48167011050512442112007-04-25T20:59:00.000-06:002007-04-25T21:22:22.533-06:00CompassionWhy is it that even if you don't know someone, just knowing they died can make you cry? Maybe it's because we feel the sorrow that a human being has died. Regardless of who they are, it's the fact that we know they were a good person. Or merely, we <span style="font-style: italic;">hear</span> that they were a good person. We learn to hate people individually, but when it comes to humanity as a whole, we feel this self righteousness that comes out. Especially when the human race is in danger. So I guess when we don't know someone and they die, we feel compassion and this single person falls somewhere into that human race theory rather than a single individual. <span style="font-style: italic;">(If I am not making any sense, it's because I am on the phone and trying to type this and carry on the other conversation at the same time. ^_^ )</span> Or maybe there's another way to look at this? If the person who died means something to someone that<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">you </span>care about, then maybe that's why it makes us sad. This person who died, you may like the work they have done, but you have never met them. Still, the fact that this wonderful (everyone else says they are) person has died, makes you sad. Hmm, I am not really sure of the answers here. I just don't really know a "logical" explanation for this one. Compassion? Sympathy? Must be something like that.. Honestly, this one does not make much sense to me. If you have no reason to be sad over the death of someone that you never knew, then why are you? It just does not make much sense to me... you've never met them, you didn't know them at all in any way, in fact, you didn't even know that they existed until recently! But they died, and meant something to someone that you care about, and the fact that they were pretty decent looking doesn't hurt the cause, but it still makes little logical sense to me. All I can figure is that it has to do something with the human spirit and emotions.Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-76034715184801164022007-04-17T22:01:00.000-06:002008-12-10T08:04:50.338-07:00ME WHO?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8jRB7oxEdGvug1nDTEBrz_U9KXciTnveo8wRGhVBtAnW7vlYm-DkxPL5w8WaEXe0_j3fu_zUKTLWZAeSto71t_oYmZfKN0LFgjj4VaeHQ6Y-lk_XOXPJVujxZ0nO_mYbgqD2-fMCTtZV2/s1600-h/Who_am_I____by_philhormonic.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8jRB7oxEdGvug1nDTEBrz_U9KXciTnveo8wRGhVBtAnW7vlYm-DkxPL5w8WaEXe0_j3fu_zUKTLWZAeSto71t_oYmZfKN0LFgjj4VaeHQ6Y-lk_XOXPJVujxZ0nO_mYbgqD2-fMCTtZV2/s200/Who_am_I____by_philhormonic.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5055362621155180322" border="0" /></a><br />Lately, I find myself having an identity crisis. I don't know what I want except to be happy and have my dreams come true. I just don't know what my dreams are and what my happiness contains in detail. I don't know who I am or what my purpose is. I can't see myself in anything or doing anything or going anywhere. I just can't see myself at all. I don't want to have some meaningless existence! Other people may see it differently, but I don't feel that way. I need to feel like I have a purpose and a reason, and I need to know what that is. I feel like I am going nowhere and like I am never going to go anywhere with my life. It scares me that I feel this way. I worry that I have lost my talent for anything. And even if I haven't lost my talent, what will become of it? Will I ever find "Mr. Right" ? Will I ever find someone to love me as much as I love them and who makes me feel the way I remember? I feel I have lost my passion for anything. My fire is dying... and without that, life is meaningless. I don't want that. I want to find a way to recapture and rekindle that fire. It doesn't necessarily mean that I have to find Mr. Right in order to achieve this. In fact, I know it doesn't. I just don't know if I will ever be as good as I used to be in anything. What happens if I don't love the things I used to? maybe I worry too much about stuff, but it's my life and I see myself going nowhere and fast. I just don't want to have a meaningless existence. I fear that my life will fade into nothingness.Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-25569434959443774632007-03-30T20:59:00.000-06:002007-03-30T21:52:08.658-06:00So I have managed to piss off my best friends other best friend and I haven't even met him yet. >_< boy do I feel like shit. Luckily, I said I was sorry and he forgave me (nice guy), but I still feel like shit for it. Today I just feel like pond scum and that I ought to go crawl under a rock and stay there til I turn from this ugly duckling into a beautiful swan. I just feel like nothing I say comes out right. I have to quit comparing myself to others, obviously it's not helping me any.Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1398375655855033365.post-62885104552340593022007-03-25T13:53:00.000-06:002007-03-25T14:01:46.358-06:00First post...Okay, so this first post is going to suck IMO, but it's just to get this out of the way and break the ice. I never know what to write for a first post on a blog anyways. I always find them awkward for some reason. Clearly, I have been out of the writing world far too long, this is taking me more time to type than I would like. I keep making mistakes and having to go back and fix them. I thought I would start writing again and since I am poorer than I would like to be, we are using a free blogger. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing bad about a free blogger; but I do have my preferences when it comes to blogging programs. This one, being my second choice. My mom and my sister went to Lowe's some two hours ago, and I don't feel I have accomplished much in that time. So this is going to be it for my first post and I am going to unwillingly head back to cleaning house on this lovely Sunday afternoon. (I'd rather be outside, truthfully.)Natakuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00270377032162305661noreply@blogger.com0